Instrument Jokes
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# Title Hits Rating 1 Here is your punishment
- |"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant."You have, Your ... Read the whole joke2 0 2 How to buy a stero
- |1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 1... Read the whole joke2 0 3 Looking to buy
- |A man walks into a shop. "You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gob... Read the whole joke4 0 4 Make me a better musician
- |There once was a violist playing in the Winnipeg Symphony. He wasn't that wonderful a player, so he... Read the whole joke4 0 5 May I speak to the conductor
- |A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.The musi... Read the whole joke4 0 6 Musical jokes
- |Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?A: A new age song.Q: What happens if you ... Read the whole joke3 0 7 Musician jokes
- |Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to... Read the whole joke4 0 8 Musicians on a sinking ship
- |A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together."Help!" cried the cellist, "I can'... Read the whole joke2 0 9 Oboe jokes
- |Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?A: Shoot four of them.Q: What are burning oboes used for?A: To... Read the whole joke2 0 10 Operas that never made it
- |Britten: A Midsummer Nightmare.Mozart: The Magic Tuba.Puccini: La Bamba.Rossini: The Plumber of Sev... Read the whole joke2 0 11 Orchestra jokes
- |Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of... Read the whole joke2 0 12 Organ jokes
- |Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?A: They are always longing for another stop.Q: ... Read the whole joke2 0 13 Phone songs
- |All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are ... Read the whole joke4 0 14 Piano jokes
- |Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?A: A flat minor.Q: What do you get if yo... Read the whole joke3 0 15 Piccolo joke
- |Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?A: Shoot one.... Read the whole joke4 0 16 Playing music
- |Last summer, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony.However, it being quite h... Read the whole joke4 0 17 Saxophone jokes
- |Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It's all in the grip.Q: What is the... Read the whole joke3 0 18 That was no piccolo
- |Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw y... Read the whole joke2 0 19 The amazing conductor
- |When a young hotshot conductor was making his debut at the Met, he showed the jaded and skeptical o... Read the whole joke2 0 20 The autograph book
- |Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom ... Read the whole joke2 0 21 The insane conductor
- |A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where... Read the whole joke2 0 22 This must be heaven
- |So this trumpet player dies. When he reaches is everlasting reward, the guy in the robe says, "You'... Read the whole joke2 0 23 Top Ten Signs The Concert You're Attending is Not The Real Woodstock
- |From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 199410. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.9. "A... Read the whole joke2 0 24 Trombone jokes
- |Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots... Read the whole joke4 0 25 Trumpet jokes
- |Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Fifty. One to do it and the... Read the whole joke3 0
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